Firstly I’ve added an “I fancy you” image to the Smartphone Download section here So they can text, email, facebook or bbm someone that they fancy them. Bish is not to be held responsible for rejections, slapped faces or bruised egos but would like to be invited to any weddings that happen as a result.

It's not too late to get an animated gif or set of images to promote your local campaigns, for more see here We can even produce a bespoke poster for you to print out locally if you wish. Email me for details for costs.

Secondly for practitioners I've put together a free resource about 'chat up lines and starting a relationship' (you're welcome)

Chat up lines and starting a relationship (pdf)

It will hopefully make a change to the 'display board about STIs' thing and is a timely and interesting way of doing relationships, gender and self-esteem work with young people. For some ideas about how to answer some of the Doctor Love questions then scroll through some of my responses to young people via Ask Bish or my made up responses at Dear Doctor Love

For more about relationships for young people there's a whole section over at bishuk.com/relationships including the very popular relationships graph which you can download, print and photocopy for young people. It comes free with every order of  the Bish Relationships Leaflet simply email justin at bishtraining.com quoting "GRAPH" in your order.

Lastly check out the new Bish Training course around young people and relationships This brand new, one day, training course from is a unique opportunity to learn about how to work with young people so that they can understand and have healthy, safe, respectful, trusting and loving relationships with each other. It is just £625 for up to 16 participants which is great value. Prices are going up as of 1st April so book now.

Thought I’d make some of the resources and links that I refer to in the podcast available here.

Firstly here is the handout that I gave out to the cinema-goers

Click to open in a new window

Secondly I go on about masculinity a lot. Here’s the donut I talked about.

For more about masculinities and how to work with young men in sexual health services go here

‘Young Masculinities’ is a really great book if you’re interested in learning more about this.

The paper about ‘bromance’ is here

The sex educator I refer to is here

My website for young people is here

Thanks to Simon Franz for inviting me.

Often the harms of porn are overstated and often we under-estimate how much young people do actually know and understand. There is little reliable evidence to demonstrate that sexually explicit materials can be harmful to young people. However many practitioners have concerns about young people watching or being exposed to this kind of material and rightly feel that they should tackle it as part of a sex and relationships programme.

For practitioners keen to help young people to navigate the difference between Planet Porn and Planet Earth, Bish has a number of resources and services. There are the free resources at bishuk.com/porn featuring videos, articles and cartoons about porn, sexting, body image, the law and ethics.  Also I also have the Educational Guide to Porn which is the only leaflet available in the UK for young people about porn.

There is also the resource pack Planet Porn which is a comprehensive teaching/training resource pack for educators. A free pdf sample of this is available here The whole training pack costs just £10.50 for an instant download (which includes a pdf and powerpoint version of the pack, for flexibility).

Additionally there is the Bish training course about porn for practitioners. This is a fun and practical course where participants learn skills and knowledge whilst exploring their own values and attitudes. It’s a fun but powerful course. The final exercise in the course invites people to create their own porn scripts which demonstrate equality, promote diversity and safer and wanted sex. Pictures of this from my latest course (with the consent of the participants) are below.

For details of the Working With Young People Around Porn training course click here to book a course or for any other information email justin@bishtraining.com (courses booked and invoiced before the financial year can be delivered after April).

It’s a story about two adolescent young men who use their geek power to create the ideal woman for themselves. Their creation, a kind of sex-charged Mary Poppins with a nuanced understanding of D/S, takes them on a journey of self-discovery of dangerous driving, risk taking, re-enforcing racial stereotypes (and how this is linked to masculinities), drinking, busty women wearing little, slush puppies, destructive parties, violence and guns.

Though it’s ostensibly a story about creating the ideal woman (there will be a handout about this before the screening, so bring a pen), I think it’s actually about how young men negotiate, construct and perform masculinities within the hegemonic rules of ‘being a man’ (see more about this here)

I’ll be talking about this with science writer Simon Franz after the screening, talking about some of the work around young masculinities as well as reflecting on my experiences working with thousands of teens over the last 12 years. Hopefully it will be entertaining and a bit informative: I’ll try not to extract all the fun out of the film, honest (though let’s face it, I probably will).

There will be a podcast of this which I’ll link to here, once it’s up.

If you’re free do come along! It is the first public thing I’ve ever done, so I’m excited and nervous. (Friends, don’t heckle or ask really hard questions).

J

Dear Colleague

It’s World Aids Day on Thursday. Below is a free factsheet, and images to use as a slideshow, from me. Feel free to print out and photocopy. Please do not put this on your own website though. It’s based on my piece at bishUK.com which you can see here

Whilst you’re here, why not check out the reasonably priced and high quality resources and training….

Justin

Factsheet

Click to enlarge

HIV factsheet (pdf)

Images

To save these images to use in a slideshow, simply open each image so they are full size and save to your computer.

Try printing this page out onto a sheet of address labels (21 per sheet) and then sticking them on magazines (which you own!) that young people might be reading in your school, youth club, clinic or home. The QR codes you can see can be scanned with a smartphone and will open as a link to the posts I’ve written about body image at bishUK.com

If you like this idea generally you might be interested in my ‘Print Your Own Stickers and Posters’ which is available here

Justin

(click on the image to make it full size and save it to your hard drive then print)

It is important to reflect on our practice and offer a service which meets the needs of young men as much as young women. When we have achieved this (or taken steps to do this) we need to promote what we are doing effectively, as well as be very, very patient…

When we successfully deliver projects that meet young men’s needs they become popular through word of mouth – so why spend any time thinking about publicity? The right publicity is part of the cumulative affect of providing a service which meets the needs of young men. I give most of my publicity to my existing clients because I know that they are going to tell their friends and that their friends are going to need convincing.

You can have everything in place, great condoms, perfect opening times, highly trained and motivated staff, amazing promotional material, excellent outreach: but still have to wait months for clients.

The most important factor in creating successful services for young men is to wait and to be patient. Keep doing the same things every week and soon the word of mouth will build.

After around a year you should reach a point where the service will start to see regular numbers of young men.

If the extent of a project worker’s graphic design skills are word art then it is a good idea to get someone else to do a design. A word art poster for a service sends out a message that ‘we don’t really want young men here’ or ‘we have to make it look like we want more young men in but really we don’t want them here’. If you want to have a play around yourself there are some excellent free programs you can use, for example inkscape, gimp and openoffice: you can also get some cool free fonts from dafont. Or you could always pay me to do it.

Printers are often able to provide artwork and in many ways this is the easiest and most cost effective way of getting your images right. You could ask some of your prospective clients ideas for a logo and images but remember that they are not experts either. You may get some good ideas from some young men in a logo design competition but this can be time consuming and can sometimes not get you great results. Speak informally with clients about what images they think work. Their favourite record covers, trainers and adverts can give you an idea.

If you shop around you can get 2000 flyers printed for £300 including artwork. However it is important that you work well with the designer giving them a detailed brief and an understanding of what you are trying to do. Don’t be afraid of asking for changes – it’s probably the most interesting job in their in-tray. UK Flyers are good, tell Jim I sent you: but other printers are available.

Here are a couple of examples of logos and designs from some of my projects

Some services don’t have a catchy name for their service, however most specialist services choose a name and this is not just for specialist young male provision but also for young people’s sexual health services ‘brands’.

I have developed two branded male sexual health services ‘The Space Man’ and ‘BAM’. ‘The Space Man’ was a service firstly held at a young people’s one stop shop (sexual health, drugs, careers, housing, education, benefits etc) called ‘The Space’. This was very popular in Derby so we piggy-backed onto that for our Friday afternoon session. It was catchy, sounded masculine and everyone knew where it was (it was also a popular song in a Levis advert years ago which unaccountably young men still remember).

‘BAM’ stands for Brook and Men. It’s short, catchy and looks cool. It also gives the impression that there is no messing about at the service and that it’s dynamic and manly. Same goes for Bish, but you can’t have that one.

It can take months to get the right name as it has to sound masculine but not aggressive. It needs to have a very broad appeal without being naff and it needs to be timeless. Keep it short and snappy and no rubbish acronyms like ‘TACT’ (try a condom today, sorry Diane) ‘SHAG’ or ‘SHARE’. Perhaps take the number of the building where the clinic is such as the ‘374 Clinic’ by Brook Brixton.

When striving for designs that have a high impact it’s important that the appeal is broad and attractive to all young men. Many young men do not like football and may feel excluded by reference to it for example. It’s also important of course not to produce anything that has any heterosexual connotations.

Even if there are no heterosexual references in publicity sometimes masculine designs can be off-putting and exclusive to young gay men. Traditional masculinity is strongly associated with heterosexuality so it is important to be inclusive. However a leaflet aimed at young men with the word ‘gay’ prominently featured may be off-putting to straight young men. Possible ways around this are by using expressions such as ‘for all young men up to 19’ and or including a small gay pride flag.

When we work in sexual health services we develop our own language to indicate what we offer such as ‘family planning’ or ‘sexual health services’; but these are meaningless terms for young men so we need to be specific about what we offer.

If our services work well with young men then they will tell their friends to come to the service. What would they say to their friends?

“They give you really good condoms for free”

“They don’t want to know your business”

“They don’t keep you hanging around”

“They explain things properly”

“The people there are alright and don’t lecture you”

It’s important to sell our services so instead of just saying ‘free condoms’ how about ‘top quality free condoms’ or ‘accurate information and honest advice from top professionals’. Counselling or offering relationship help is a service that many young men would want if it was called something else – ‘life coaching’, ‘we listen hard’, ‘sort your head out’ or even ‘come and talk to our life coaches’.

all images and text © Bish Training 2010 bishtraining.com

Young men can attend our services full of anxiety which can be accompanied by an exhibition of macho behaviours. The way that we communicate with young men in services needs to demonstrate that we value them, that we understand what they want from the service, that attending such services is a big deal for them and, that with all this in mind, we need them to behave in a certain way and to follow certain procedures.

Working with young men in clinics mostly involves explaining procedures, asking them to do things and sometimes asking them not to do things. Below are some tips on how to communicate with male clients in clinics

Young men tend to respond to brief and clear communication so try to avoid waffling about procedures or policies. Think about what the client needs to know and try to say it in one or two clear sentences.

For example when explaining about confidentiality to male clients “this is our confidentiality policy, it basically means that if I tell anyone I’ve seen you without asking you first I can get sacked”.

It’s important to use clear straightforward language with young men. This means avoiding euphemisms and saying things as they are (eg penis or dick rather than ‘private parts’ or ‘tackle’). Also young people don’t see a distinction between family planning clinics and GUM services – they see them all as ‘sexual health service’. Client rather than ‘patient’ (they aren’t ill), also check-up rather than screening.

Young men often do not understand clinical language or have no connection with it (for example “piss/pee hole” rather than “urethra”). To make it relevant it needs to be in a language that they understand.

Young men use slang but it doesn’t mean that you should in order to make yourself understood. This is because a) you may not be totally clear what the slang means to that young man, b) they might not be very clear what it means, c) it makes you try to look ‘street’ and part of their gang – this can be embarrassing and the point of slang amongst young people is to make them sound different to people like you! Also they are coming to us because we are the highly trained professionals: who are also friendly, warm and clear.

A useful icebreaker can be to ask them what something means or even to say that you know what it means but not use it yourself.

Young male clients deserve a warm welcome to services and deserve to be valued and treated with respect. However this does not mean appearing over-friendly. Remember that to make young men feel comfortable they need to accept that attending your clinic is a masculine thing to do. Being touchy feely in approach at first can be off-putting. There is a great example of this in this research from Steve Pearson here where young men are wary of workers with bean bags being too friendly.

For an initial welcome try ‘alright?’ rather than ‘HI! How are you?’ Also although eye contact is important it is a good idea to use this sparingly at first as it can be quite intimidating.

Large groups of young men can be intimidating – even for experienced workers. They can also be a rarity in some clinics. It’s important in both cases to appear cool and confident and show that it is not a big thing. The more they feel that it is normal for young men to come in, and that you see groups of young men all the time, the better.

Being ready for groups of young men by having a ritual that you always follow can help this. Groups of young men often come in on recommendation from their friends who will have informed their friends about the rituals that happen – where they sit, who is on reception, how long to wait etc.

When first seeing male clients if you are unsure how to come across take clues from their body language. For example

• If they don’t like eye contact don’t try to establish it;
• if they have a closed body posture make sure that you give them space;
• if they are speaking quietly speak at the same volume;
• if they are making jokes to feel more comfortable laugh along;
• if they want to shake hands and call you mate do the same.

Usually you will sense when the client is more comfortable and you’ll be able to be increasingly open and friendly.

Understanding the difference between external (dough) and internal (jam) masculinities is vital when we a offering a clinical service for young men. In the waiting room young men are still in external mode, knowing that, at some stage, they are going to be asked very personal questions, be examined and be treated: a potentially very non masculine experience. This can lead to some inappropriate behaviour from clients or a less productive consultation.

Doctors, nurses and health advisors working with young men must have a good idea on how to help facilitate this process; much of it is down to basic client care and having the basic rituals each time a client visits. Not being a clinician I’m not an expert in how this is done but I suspect that the following are important:

• Having the same ritual each time a client is seen; the way clients are called from the waiting room, the body language and eye contact used and the way their role is introduced.
• That clients having some knowledge about the process and what is going to happen (particularly with regard to tests) before they happen.
• That confidentiality is consistently assured throughout the visit.
• There is a clear space for the client in the consultation room and they are allowed to feel comfortable.
• Giving clients excellent care but making sure that they get the impression that examining clients and taking sexual histories is standard practice that clinics do all the time (proformas of questions may help with this)

Most challenging behaviour from young men in clinics is not problematic at all – just different. Young men can be energetic, loud, funny, use up a lot of space, need lots of stimulus, sociable and curious. When taking a view on behaviour of young men in a waiting room ask yourself whether there is a real problem or whether they are merely behaving like young men. Are the following really problems?

• Loud conversations
• Walking around the waiting area looking at posters or coming in and out of the waiting area
• Talking on phones or even playing music from them
• Low level play fighting whilst sitting next to their mates
• Talking to other people waiting

It is important not to have to challenge lots of behaviour. Some of the above might be problematic in some clinics but should be handled with a softer touch such as a discrete finger on lips, playful but stern look for example.

If there is a genuine problem such as

• Inappropriate advances on other clients
• Inappropriate comments to staff
• Roaming around corridors
• Intimidating posturing

Avoid shouting

Shouting can create immediate irresolvable conflict. Young men are used to being shouted at and will shout back upsetting you, themselves and the whole clinic. Even calling loudly across a clinic can have a seriously fractious affect – no matter how polite or justified you are.

Make a point of being strong but fair.

Young men have a strong respect for rules if they are enforced fairly. Make sure that everyone is treated the same way – regardless of gender or age. Don’t be scared of being assertive but avoid escalating any tension.

Be polite, quiet, on their level and use humour.

If you have to have a word with clients ensure that you sit with them and are quiet so that they aren’t told off in front of the clinic waiting area. Use of humour is good if possible “are you chatting someone up in my clinic? Is there nowhere else that you can go to do that?”

Have a good reason and get your facts straight

It is vital that you have a good reason for challenging behaviour and it is important (in the interests of fairness) to explain the reason. It is also important to make sure that you clarify with them what they have done. For example

“Were you wondering up and down the corridor? I know it’s boring waiting but you can’t do that because we need to make sure that the service is confidential and safe. Are you ok with that?”

Or “I’m sorry but it’s not really an appropriate place to chat people up because people can be very upset coming here and that can make it much worse”.

Remember that you are in control and have quite a lot of power. Many clients will not understand what is expected of them in a clinic as it the only place where young people are where we expect them to sit quietly and not talk to each other. This can be very confusing. They are waiting for a service from you and they are probably anxious and uncomfortable.

Until recently I thought that having ground rules on the wall would make the service feel less young people friendly. After having discussed this with clients I now realise that I was completely wrong! Rules give everyone a clear boundary of behaviour and are for potential ‘perpetrators and victims’ – so that clients who are offended by bad behaviour can feel confident in reporting it to a member of staff.

When working in clinics we professionals are reasonably clear about the kind of behaviours that we do not want to see (see above): but why should young people share our view? Young men have a strong respect for very clear rules, which are fairly and strictly adhered to; and, even if we still have to tell them off they at least understand that they have broken a rule and are out of order.

The best way to develop a set of rules, is to start by discussing it with colleagues and then circulate a draft to clients. Ask clients about the wording, whether there is anything they want to include or take out. In my experience this has opened up a useful dialogue about why some behaviours are out of order.

When you have some rules make sure that they are clear and specific rather than euphemistic and theoretical (eg please do not make fun of people for being here, rather than, please respect other people using this service). Also ensure that everyone sees them and be prepared to explain why you have the rule.

Here’s an example of the one I did for our clinic

all images and text © Bish Training 2010, bishtraining.com